


Secret Admirer

by ForgottenDream12



Series: Secret Admirer [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Insecure Tony, M/M, Misunderstandings, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 09:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenDream12/pseuds/ForgottenDream12
Summary: After Tony and Pepper break up, he starts to get letters attempting to cheer him up.





	Secret Admirer

Tony was at his newly reconstructed Malibu house when he got the first letter. Well, it really wasn’t much of a letter. He supposed he’d have called it a note if it hadn't been in an envelope. JARVIS with all his years of commands would have dealt with it himself, marking it as nothing of import, but FRIDAY didn't have all that stored knowledge yet. So instead of refusing to inform him of yet another unknown package’s arrival she woke him up from his midday nap.

“Boss, a package has arrived for you. It has been placed near your front door. It was delivered by a USPS worker. His identity was verified. A scan of the package has picked up no suspicious materials.”

Groaning and rolling over onto his side, Tony pulled a pillow over his head. “Was this really necessary, Fri? I was sleeping.”

The AI’s voice as she replied seemed almost smug. “I know. Another hour and your sleeping schedule would be even more atrocious than it already is.” Sighing, Tony threw the pillow off of him and onto the floor where it hit some empty liquor bottles. He climbed out of the bed slowly, feeling all the aches and pains from his last battle a few days prior.

It hadn't gone on all that long but he’d still been throw into a building or two before Cap’s shield had finally taken down the giant squid. It had gone through its eye and found its way to the sea creature’s brain. He shuddered thinking about the shields retrieval process. He had begged off, really runaway from, the debriefing and flown back to Malibu soon after the battle. It had just been a bad day in its entirety and he didn't feel like he could deal with anymore.

Tony thought it seemed like today wouldn’t be much better, having been awoken so rudely. He had received too many packages from his ‘fans’ before. They were almost always from the military trying to get him back into the weapons development business. His real fans tended to stick to letters.

When Tony finally made it to the front door, he opened the door and then just stared down at the package on his doorstep. It was an old Amazon box and much smaller than the presents the military usually tried to send him. Leaning down, he picked it up and went back inside to sit down on the couch with it. FRIDAY had already scanned it so he didn't feel too worried so he gave it a good shake.

Nothing went boom. He might as well open it then. Grabbing the chopsticks from an old takeout box that was sitting on the coffee table, he started to use them to get the box open. He really should restart his clean up service. He’d been particularly bad about cleaning since he got here. He just couldn’t get the motivation to do it, to do anything really.

Eventually the chopsticks worked enough so he could tear the box’s flaps open the rest of the way. Inside he found an envelope and a small robot figurine on a keychain. It was retro and his taste exactly. He picked it up and pulled off the protective packaging it had around it, holding it in his hand afterwards. After a while he put it down so that he could open the envelope. Inside was one piece of paper. All it said on it was ‘I hope this makes you feel a little better.’

The first thing he wondered about, of course, was who the hell had sent this to him. The second was how anyone would have known how down in the dumps he was. The only one who knew would have been Pepper and she would never have sent an anonymous package, even if a ‘feel better’ gift from directly from her would have just been cruel.

Yet there wasn't another person that he could think of that would have sent him such a gift. No one else knew he and Pepper had broken up after all. Perhaps that should have worried him, that somebody knew something that they shouldn't have, but it really didn't. He had always lived his life in the public eye and even if he didn't really like it he was used to it. At least this person was being kind about it.

Leaning back into the couch he lifted up the figurine into the light and admired it. It really was very cute. The gift was very simple but it really had made his day. It seemed to give birth to a new spark of energy in him. He wasn't over pepper just like that, he didn't think he ever would be, but it helped make him see that the relationship hadn't been everything. People still cared about him, he was still Iron Man, and he had a company to run an avenging to do.

That had been the first letter and it had gotten him out of his funk enough for him to go back to New York. He hadn't actually given it much thought after that. It was just a simple thing after all, even if it had helped him a lot. There was no way he could have thought it would become a recurring thing. Except it did, very much so.

Tony had always knew he could get into his head but he never realized how much it really happened until the letters.

The second time he got a letter it seems like he was surrounded by a dark cloud for days. Nothing seemed to be going his way and he had sunk so far down into his head that he was thinking about Ty and then Sunset. It was like all he could think about was this film of horrible memories going through his head over and over again. He was just glad it decided to skip Afghanistan. That was for his nightmares.

It had gotten so bad that he have taken to wandering around the tower instead of keeping to his Workshop. Of course Clint had said something about it. He had said it was like a ghost was wondering the tower and he hadn't much liked it after Tony and scared him for the third time. No one really liked it but Clint has been the only one to mention it to his face. He supposed the rest of them just kept their PTSD brooding to their rooms. Except Steve of course. He kept it in the gym.

Steve was also the one he saw the most concerned from. It was obvious in his face. He was probably worried it would affect Tony's work as Iron Man. He made sure it never did though. In the field Iron Man was perfect. If he wasn't Clint would probably hit the sidewalk one day. Missions were the one thing that always seem to go well even if they were sometimes messy.

They had just gotten back from one of those messy ones, where Tony had to put the Iron Man suit through decontamination, when he found the second letter. Another Amazon box was laying on his workbench with his other priority mail. He didn't even get the chance to ask Friday why it was there. She answered the question before he could voice it. “You seemed to enjoy it so much last time Boss that I thought it could help now too. It appears to be from the same sender as of the first.”

Tony didn't want to say that he was eager to open the package but it was the first thing he went to. He was a little less cautious than last time, not even bothering to shake it, but he still opened it slowly. Inside was another figurine not unlike the first one but this one had Iron Man's colors and his general look. The first one was a keychain but this one had a base for it to stand on. The note said ‘I found this and thought it would help’ and nothing else.

He knew the person was referring to it helping his mood and now he could narrow down the people that the sender could be. He hasn't shown his face much to the public and he hadn't done anything drastic, like going to Malibu, which could show he wasn't doing great. The only people who could have really known that he was in a mood were the employees in his company.

Tony didn't really give much thought to who the gifter was. Instead he just put the figurine on the

Shelf in his workshop and continued on with his mood brightened. Yet the letters kept coming. They weren't much and they didn't always have a gift but it happened often enough that his shelf now had each of the Avengers likeness on it. If it didn't have a figurine attached then it usually had a movie with it. His favorite was The Iron Giant.

When it didn't have anything then it usually meant that he wasn't having a depressive moment but had instead buried himself in the workshop for days in a manic episode. The letters were usually about his well-being at that point. The person seemed very concerned with how much food he ate and how much sleep he got. Apparently they knew what he was like. He narrowed it down to being someone in the company that Pepper talk to.

The thing was that the letters always helped. When he was depressed they seemed to give him the energy he needed to get out and do something. The times he locked himself in his Workshop to design they reminded him to eat and that sleep was a necessary thing. He realize that maybe he was putting a lot more of his happiness’ stake in these letters than he should. It was just that this person seem to care about him in a way that he missed.

It wasn't like Pepper, who cared but had been so used to him that she never really worried all that much. She was far more concerned with his time as Iron Man then his time in the workshop. He would have said that it was similar to how Jarvis, the original Jarvis, cared but it felt different. More romantic. It wasn't even his delusion either. He was sure of this because sometimes the letters waxed poetry about Iron Man. Of the beauty of his suit and his brilliance. Of the worry his secret admirer had when they watched him get hurt in battle.

It had been half a year since the first letter but only a few months since he actually started to consciously care about who the sender was. They had to be close to him and that meant he could find them. Find them and...start a relationship? Was that his end goal here? He supposed it was in a way. He wanted to get to know them and hoped they would still want to be around him when they got to know him. With how the gift showed up at optimal timing they probably already knew him better than most people in the public did. They knew he was moody and subjectable to long binges in his workshop without coming up for air. Plus, unlike Pepper, they appear to be okay with him being Iron Man. That was a plus.

_When I saw you go down when you were hit by that ray gun I swear my heart stopped. I thought it was over, that I would never get to talk to you like a friend. Yet I hate myself after it's over because I can't get up the courage to talk to you. I feel like you're invincible even seeing what I have, that I have time when I know I'm not guaranteed it. I could lose you so fast. I can lose everything so fast. I'm sorry I'm getting what you would call mopey. I'm just glad you're alive. Be safe, Tony. And maybe eat a sandwich._

Reading over the latest letter made him want to find out who it was even more. If he became entangled with his secret admirer then he would be able to get over his lust for Steve Rogers. At least he'd be able to suppress it like when he was with Pepper because it was only lust. Nothing else. Steve was far too aggravating for anything else. He didn't care at all that the man with a stick up his butt only didn't talk to him while spending time with the rest of the team. Didn't matter.

After going upstairs once he put the letter down he found himself in such a predicament again. The team was making their individual sandwiches for lunch when he walked in. The ingredients for spread across the table and they were having a jolly old time but they stopped talking when they saw him. It really was only quiet for a minute though. Clint could never stay silent for long.

“Stark, so glad you could finally join us. You look like hell.”

Sitting down in one of the empty at the table Tony scoffed, “I don't know what you mean. I always look gorgeous. This is just my Grudge look.”

“No, that face is the reason they make you wear makeup in interviews.” Clint cackled to himself and Steve looks like he wanted to say something but he kept quiet. Typical when he was around Tony. He was the only one who hadn't started up his conversation again after he entered the room. Natasha had gone back to talking to Bruce but Thor now lost his conversation partner. He looked a bit put out.

Clint and Tony continued to rib each other over their meal while Steve looked on. Eventually Thor finished his meal and asked the super soldier to join him in a spar. It almost looked like he was going to tell the Asgardian no but he accepted. They left and Natasha join them soon after looking like she plan to watch them duke it out. Bruce was still enjoying his yogurt when Clint reach down and picked up something by his foot. “Look what I got!”

He lifted it like it was a prize and showed it off to the two geniuses. In any other case it wouldn't have been that interesting of a sight except Tony recognized it. It was a miniature version of Hawkeye and while every version he'd seen before had been unique, he had the exact same one in his workshop. The minute he saw it he thought he might be able to get information of where his secret admirer had been once. “Where did you manage to get that, a thrift store dumpster? What a vain hawk. ”

“Hey, I'll have you know that this was given to me!”

Damn, the conversation wasn't as interesting to Tony anymore now that he couldn't find anything of import out from it. He turned back to his half eaten sandwich. “Oh yeah, sure. By one of your many fans I presume?”

Bruce was apparently getting bored with the conversation too, interrupting before Clint could answer. “No, it's one of the gifts Steve likes to give out when we get hurt in the field. This is Clint's first time getting in hurt in a while thanks to you always saving him. He's like a kid displaying a sticker from the teacher.” Clint look like he was offended by the comparison but Tony couldn't even laugh at that. All his Focus was on the figurine. The exact same figurine his secret 3admirer had given him. The same one that Steve apparently liked to give out as trophies.

This was the same Steve who would have been able to notice when he broke up with Pepper and when he spent long days in the workshop. The same Steve who never really spoke to him. The leader of the Avengers who had to make sure all the team was in fighting shape mentally. Tony's heart felt like it plummeted to the depth of his stomach. Was it Steve who were sending him these things? Was he sending them to trick Tony into feeling better? If it was him it couldn't be because he really likes him. Steve had only ever argued with Tony, he didn't try to be friendly.

How would even be able to find out if it was Steve's though? The simple solution came to him then. He could ask FRIDAY to analyze Steve's handwriting. The notes were handwritten and he was sure SHIELD would have some written reports scanned onto their servers. He would ask her to do it as soon as he got down to his workshop. Interrupting Clint and Bruce's tit for tat he spoke up, “I'm going to go back down now. DUM-E needs a new strut.”

His awkward exit didn't seem to surprise them all that much. They just continued on after a short glance his way. Bruce seemed the most concerned out of the two of them but he didn't seem to put much weight into his suspicions. Tony was rather impatient to get the information so once he made it onto the elevators with the door shut, he asked FRIDAY to hack SHIELD and compare Steve's paperwork to his secret admirers notes. “Do it quick, Fri.”

He wondered if he could even refer to his mysterious letter sender as his secret admirer anymore. It felt fake now that he had his suspicions of Steve. He hoped he was wrong. It would hurt too much if he wasn't. Tony had invested far too much of his feelings into those letters, that was now obvious. Hopefully it would take FRIDAY while before she came back with her answer. That is what he wished but he'd made his AI far too powerful for it not to be as quick as he requested.

Tony had been in his lab less than five minutes when his AI spoke to him. “I have your results, Boss.” Dismissing FRIDAY and avoiding the answer was tempting, far too tempting, but he couldn't. He wouldn't be able to face Steve without knowing and putting it off wouldn't help. If he was right he'd need time to process it. It wasn't like the figurines were truly unique. Both Steve and his secret admirer could have bought them. It didn't have to mean they were same person.

“Tell me them, Fri.”

“Captain Rogers’ handwriting matches the notes.” If his heart had plummeted to his stomach before, it went all the way to the bottom of his tower now. Steve was manipulating him and this knowledge twisted the meaning of those letters around. He had thought someone cared about him selflessly and he’d been so happy. More happy than being with Pepper had made him and that thought had him feeling sick because that was the best relationship he had ever been in. Now he had to live with the fact that the feelings conveyed through those letters wasn’t sincere. That he had fallen for a fake again, like Ty, only so much worse because this was Steve.

Steve who he already loved. He supposed he could admit that now in his own head where no one else could be privy to it. Tony had loved Captain America before Howard had twisted those feelings and he had fallen for Steve after he met him. He was the most sincere person Tony knew after all. That was probably all fake too. He’d never be able to tell anymore. He hated the man now more than he ever had before he met him. Humiliation ran through him at the thought that Steve had seen him carrying around that first gift attached to his belt. He would have even seen the neat row of the Avenger figurines on the shelf behind him.

Turning around fast, he glared at that stupid stupid shelf he had put up. Steve had caught him in the act of putting it up and when he had told the blonde what it was for he had given him a tiny smile. It felt more like a smirk now. He must have been laughing at him! Laughing about how Tony had treasured something so fucking stupid. Flinging himself up from his seat he marched to the shelf and flung his hand across the surface, knocking all the figurines down. The fact that only the Iron Man one broke had him in hyserticics. “The fuck!” Stomping his foot down, he slammed it onto Captain America’s shield, breaking it off.

Sunset wanted him for his money, Ty wanted him for his fame, and Steve wanted to make him think he wanted him so Iron Man would keep his head in the game. Pepper hadn’t wanted him at all because of Iron Man. What irony. At of all of them what Steve had done hurt the worst because while Ty and Sunset had wanted him for things they could get from him they had at least still wanted him. In those relationships he at least got something out of it, even if the affection had been fake the sex wasn’t. Steve surely hadn’t been prepared to give him that to keep him happy, with all the anonymity after all.

He was still standing over the broken figurines when the door to his lab swished open and Steve walked in. “Tony?” It took a second for the blonde man to see the mess on the floor. “Tony, are you okay?!” He rushed towards the other man, but the genius threw up his arm when Steve touched him to brush it off. He didn’t turn to look at him but he could hear the super soldier shuffle a few steps back. “Tony?”

His man sounded so sad that he just knew if the turned to look that Steve would have his eyes put on ‘Puppy - MAX.’ He didn’t want to see that but he couldn’t help himself and he turned around anyway. The only good think about this was that he hadn’t cried, he kept those tears in. Stark men are made of iron. Unlike Steve, because he was right about those damn sad puppy dog eyes, he had his own set to death phasers. Just the sight of them had the other man flinching back, but he soon turned his blue eyes onto the figurines beside Tony’s feet. The Captain America one was still underneath his foot. “Oh. You know.”

Those simple words were enough to have Tony exploding. “I know? Yeah, I fucking know, Steve! I know you have been sending me these fucking letters—packages!” He threw his hand out, gesturing to his desk that contained the letters that he had kept. His voice calmed a little as he went on. “I know you have been messing with me. You gave the others gift too, but you didn’t fuck with them. Why did you with me?! What’s with all this anonymity when everyone else knew who their gifts were from? Why me, Rogers?”

During Tony’s rant Steve seemed to get paler and paler. He hadn’t thought that was possible with his Irish complexion. Before he could dodge the hold Steve had his hands gripping his shoulders. “Tony, you can’t believe I would—that I would lie about anything of the stuff in those letters? It was all true! You’re brilliant beyond belief and so gorgeous. Iron man is too of course!” The grip on his shoulders only tightened as Steve’s distress grew. There’d definitely be bruises. “It was easy to give gifts to the others because—because I didn’t love them like you, Tony. I know you don’t feel the same.” The grip finally loosened until it disappeared altogether.

“A secret admirer is only flattering until you know who it is when you don’t want them.” Slowly, Steve’s eyes went down to the broken figurines at their feet, staring at them like they proved a point. Eventually, he turned his attention back to Tony’s gaping face. “I love you and I’m sorry I tricked you. Honesty would have been better.” With one more glance at his broken gifts, he turned to leave the workshop. This is what sprang Tony into action.

“Steve!” He leaped up at the other man, knocking him forward a bit from the surprise of it. “Do you mean it? Do you really mean it?” Backing up a bit to give the blonde some room to turn around he watched as Steve brought his wide eyed gaze to Tony’s face. That was all he needed to confirm he was telling the truth. Steve’s feelings were real, the letters were real. A huge weight fell off of Tony as his arms wrapped around the other man’s neck. “I love you too.” With that he put a small amount of pressure against his neck to bring him down into a kiss. “I love you so much.”


End file.
